Friday, November 14, 2008
okay okay fine i shall tell all of you about my day with the ants.
i woke up one morning and, after breakfast etc, sat down at my table to do some homework.
i realised all such plans were cancelled when i saw an ant and a brilliant idea just flashed across my mind. i happened to have a cup of water and a chocolate wrapper from the day before which i forgot to clear and left on my table. i picked up the ant with my fingers, then dropped it into the cup of water. i then picked up the other ants which were happily crawling around the wrapper, oblivious to their fate.
then when i several ants were struggling in the water, i dropped an eraser into the cup, hoping to make an island, but watched dismally as the tiny eraser sank down to the bottom. i WAS under the impression that erasers can float, and apparently they can't.
i rummaged around frantically and then found a cylindrical-shaped eraser which was tall enough to stand in the water. so i put it in the centre of the cup, then using a stick like thing, i helped the ants onto their make-shift island. they crawled around, towards the edge of the eraser, then back again, then crawling round and round in circles. and i promise on our secret handshake, i saw two ants struggling with a third ant, then finally puhing the 3rd ant into the water. ok maybe he fell, but that's so unexciting.
*imagination*
ant1 and ant2 are running around confused.
ant1: HEY. we aren't supposed to be here!! we're on a secret mission to annihilate the ant3!
ant2: yeah, what happened? lets ask one of these other ants which are insignificant in this story.
ant1: hey you there!! what's going on?
*ant rushes by screaming like a cow with his insides on fire*
mad ant: HELP HELP HELP!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEE..................
*mad ant falls to the ground in distress*
ant2: okay..........not an option.
ant1: let's just walk around eh. see what we can find out. maybe the enemy has planned this ambush.
*walk round and round and round(remember the eraser is cylindrical shaped.)*
*ant crashes into both of them*
ant3: oh dear, i'm so sorry, i wasn't watching where i was-
*ant3 stares in horror at ant1 and ant2*
ant1: HEY! you're that ant3 we're supposed to dispose of!!
ant2: GET HIM!
*ant3 gasps then tries to run away. ant1 performs a flying leap and lands smack on top of him. ant2 then rushes forward and doles out some well-executed punches. ant3 cries out in excrutiating pain as s snapping sound is heard. he then lashes out at ant1 and 2 feebly, in a half-hearted attempt to get away.
ant1:ready, ant 2?
ant2: ready when you are, ant1.
ant1 and ant2: 1...2....3!!!!
*ant3 lets out a horrified shriek as he plummets to his death in the frigid waters below. at this moment, a nice-looking human who goes by the name of claudine very kindly places a huge slab of chocolate on the island.
ant1: i think we deserve a good reward after all that hard work, don't you ant2?
ant2: of course we do! how about we celebrate with some nice chocolate?
*ant1 and 2 amble off, singing a victory song. meanwhile, the kind human who goes by the name of claudine uses some long stick thing to push the drowning ant3 up the island again...*
*end of vivid imagination*
well yes, i nicely decided to provide some delicious food for the ants. i took out one small bar of chocolate, broke off a slab the size of 3 ants, dropped it on their island, then happily devoured the rest. if i was stuck on and island with a block of heavenly chocolate bigger then me, i would have been delirious with ecstasy. it's like...a dream come true!!
okay back to my story. after watching the ants who were totally ignoring that big piece of scrumptious chocolate for a long long while, i started getting bored. so, since the ants looked so miserable to be abandoned on an island, with a (may i stress this point again) humongous, mouthwatering block of absolutely delightful chocolate, i decided to end their torture.
*after moments of searching*
aha! this would be the very thing to end their pain. i looked in on them and said, if you want to stay, then give me a sign, and i'll let you stay! their only response was to have one ant jump into the water in a last-ditch attempt to escape. i pushed the ant back onto the island, then pulled the sopping wet eraser out and put it in a box i had fashioned out of paper earlier on. then, before they could run, i pulled out the thing i was searching for, and then baring my teeth to them as a parting smile, i pressed the nozzle on the inseticide spray.
*spsheeeeettt*
the ants wriggle about for a second, then fell still as their life left them. i think i gave them an overdose of the spray, which was why they died so quickly. at least they didn't suffer. BUT, they were on an island with some choclate, but no, they couldn't count their blessings...
but anyway, that marked the end of my experience with those ungrateful ants. at least i killed them in a humane way. jia hui oce told me she partially crushed an ant half to death, then watched as it lurched around in pain till it, at last, died an agonizing death.
well good bye people. i have stuff to do. NO i am NOT going to experiment with more ants.
save the earth
kill the ants
if you ever want to try this experiment, please remember to use a big eraser, because they DO sink in water.
--Mary was an idiot:)--
3:22 PM
